When I think about self-care straight away my mind goes to, an evening relaxing in a hot bath, a face mask, an hour-long skin care routine and the only light in this house is coming from candles.
Don’t get me wrong that sounds amazing and I do still have the occasional night like that, but more recently I’ve come to realise that self-care means a lot more than just those few things once in a blue moon. It’s of course all the things we know and are told, eating a balanced diet and regular exercise, but there is so much more than just that and it’s different for different people, its whatever makes you feel, physically, emotionally and mentally well.
For as long as I can remember I always believed myself to be an extravert, always wanting or feeling the need to be surrounded by people, more recently I thought I’d gone the other way and become an introvert, I don’t now always want to be around other people, I really enjoy time alone, I love the peace and quiet that it comes with, no one to please or think about other than yourself.
I realise now that I am in fact an ambivert, I am someone that likes both! I crave that social interaction as much as I crave the alone time and the need to see and speak to none in order to re charge and recover. if I don’t it really takes a toll on my mental health, I become irritable, miserable and just much less like myself.
This also includes Saying no or distancing yourself from people that you feel have a negative impact on your mental health in order to protect yourself, not everyone in your life right now is meant to be with you for your entire time on this earth and that’s ok. We constantly grow and evolve and cannot expect that all the people around us are growing and evolving at the same rate and time.
Everyone’s journey is different.
The journey I’ve been on more recently has opened my eyes to the fact that my entire life up until 5 years ago I had been a total people pleaser, always saying yes because I never wanted to let anyone else down. I would always prioritise other people’s wants, needs and feelings before my own, with total disregard for the impact it would have on my mental and physical health.
Self-care is Saying no to plans with family and or friends and not feeling guilty because you haven’t a “good enough “excuse other than you just don’t feel like it or you haven’t got the physical or mental energy to participate.
‘You can’t pour from an empty glass’
Make yourself a priority and where you can in your personal or work life delegate tasks to others, you don’t always have to be busy and saying yes! Being productive 24/7 doesn’t make you more successful it just leads to you burning yourself out and becoming entirely unproductive, because you’re so drained.
Take the breaks enjoy the rest and make sure to fill your life with thing’s that make you feel happy and fulfilled. The saying “you can’t pour from an empty glass” is so true and such an important one to remember when talking about self-care.
Fill your glass first, then you’re in a position of being able to help others. It doesn’t make you selfish, it’s self-preservation.
No one else knows what you need more than you do, and the only person that can give you exactly what you need is yourself.
share a smile not a judgement