Last week I uploaded the first of many poems called Pressure… but this poem wasn’t mine it was written by my daughter who is 14 years old, as soon as I read what she had written, I knew instantly it had to be the first, it is incredible, she is incredible. If you haven’t already, please go across to the poem section of my website and have a read.
This week’s blog has been inspired by my daughter’s poem, being a mum and being a woman.
Being a mum has and continues to be the greatest gift, and one of the biggest learning journeys of my life. I am finally learning to fully embrace this and to try to trust the decisions I make. Reassure and remind myself that whatever the outcome, every decision good or bad, comes from a place of love, with intentions that were always pure and good.
Sounds like I’ve got it all figured out then, but no…because everyone has their idea and their opinion of how you should parent and raise your children. It is one thing to ask for help and advice but it’s really something else when people, sometimes complete strangers feel it is their god given right to tell you that you’re doing it wrong, you should do it differently or to just try harder!
From the moment you see that positive result so the pressure begins, it’s pressure that we apply to ourselves to be the best versions of who we are for the sake of our children. That pressure is already huge but then you let in the outside world… and suddenly it’s even bigger!
We live in a time, in a world where the only filters to exist are the ones on apps, a world where kindness and empathy are a thing of the past. We live in a world that allows complete strangers to say the most despicable things online and in person, with absolutely no consequence.
This isn’t just about parenting pressures this kind of pressure is forced upon women and girls daily. Constantly being made to feel like we are not enough or that we are failing. Feeling like the only option we are being given is perfection. Perfection in the way we look, perfection in our work, perfection in our grades, perfection as a parent. Unless you can see past the judgements, past the opinions you start to believe that failure is the only option you have, because that is what life has taught you, that is what you have been told and reminded of over and over again…be better, do better…but it’s bulls**t!!
There always has to be a line there has to boundaries, if a person’s actions and intentions are that of hate and do not come from a place of good, we should not be accepting of that and always speak out!
For everyone else, we should be able to exist in a world that accepts us for whoever it is we choose to be. Be accepted for the choices we make and be celebrated for all of our differences. We should never feel like we are being punished for doing our best, for being who we are, for simply being ourselves.
Being a mum has made me question myself, question my choices and question my words on so many occasions. My daughters have taught me so much about this world and the person that I want to be within it.
It shouldn’t be expected and accepted that as adults and as children we live in fear of the constant judgements and opinions that are being forced upon us, the opinions we never asked for.
Equality is what we should strive for.
Status, power, money and gender should not be the golden ticket. Kindness, love, empathy and acceptance should always be enough.
Share a smile not a Judgement