In this week’s Blog I feel compelled to talk about the lessons I have learnt so far. Specifically, I’d like to discuss 3 areas: –
- Living with Anxiety and Depression.
- Overcoming Anxiety and Depression.
- The lessons I have learnt along the way.
Living with Anxiety and Depression has been one of the hardest things I have ever had to go through. For so long my life and the lives of my family and friends were completely controlled by my mental health illnesses. Every decision that involved leaving the house had to be done with my Anxiety at the forefront of everyone’s mind. The factors that came into making that decision would be for example: –
- How is my state of mind, my mood and the way I am feeling in general on that day?
- Is it somewhere we have been before?
- Distance, how long is it going to take to get there?
- Once there is it likely to trigger my Anxiety?
- Will I make the journey, and If I do, will I stay?
And so, it goes on!!
My Depression was caused by the Anxiety, all the things I felt I could no longer do, basic things that as an adult are expected of you, suddenly you feel like you just can’t anymore. Constantly evaluating every situation, event, outing or occasion to see if it is safe. The lack of sleep because your mind just doesn’t switch off, like a clock constantly ticking, over thinking every minor detail of that day, or worrying and over analysing an event that is coming up. If I managed to get to sleep then I would wake early hours and that would be it, once I am awake there’s no going back it’s basically impossible, once the mind has been woken and the thoughts start ticking over you can’t turn it off again. Anyone who lives with Anxiety knows how exhausting it is. You literally feel like there’s just no point trying with the day because you haven’t got the energy to even move, let alone contend with all the possible triggers that may lie ahead. Depression kicks in and the two just feed off each other, it is a vicious circle, like one of those roundabouts you get at the park, only once you’re on it and you start going around there’s no getting off!
After Medication, Counselling and hypnotherapy I am now finally able to say that I am coming through the other side. For so long I yearned to feel better and never thought I would. I felt as though my fate was sealed and life would always remain as it was at that time, Anxious and Depressed and ultimately with no one around me because eventually they would all give up on me too. I was determined that that was not going to be the case. I was going to get back to me again. I was willing to try anything and really work at it for as long as it took for me to get there.
Curative Hypnotherapy is ultimately what gave me the answers to my prayers. After just 5 sessions with a wonderfully gifted and talented person I could feel it all start to fall away. Past insecurities and the real reasons behind my Anxiety came to light and were dealt with. I still have to work at it but it is so much easier now. I am not so depressed and much more motivated to try because I know now that I can. Any hurdles my mind tries to put in the way I know I can simply jump over them. (Look out for a blog coming soon that will talk about my full experience with Curative Hypnotherapy).
Overcoming such a colossal hurdle and barrier has really changed my life in so many ways. From the age of 9 Anxiety has been the leading lady in my life, it has always led the way, any situation I was faced with I would do so with Anxiety first. Shy, no confidence or self-worth and never believing that my opinions or ideas had any value. I am so pleased and blessed to say that I am no longer that person, I am now finally the person beneath the Anxiety, the person that has always been there but has just been overshadowed by Anxiety her whole life. I am now the leading lady in my own life. I make decisions based on my gut instincts because I trust my own judgements. I believe that like everyone else I am entitled to an opinion and that it matters just as much as the next person. I am starting to have faith and believe in my own abilities, I believe that if I work hard enough and stay dedicated, I can achieve anything I put my mind too. I am sensitive and wear my heart on my sleeve, but I am strong willed and will speak my mind. I believe so deeply in spreading love and kindness to all and finally now at the age of 32 I have the confidence to follow my dreams, to do what I believe to be my purpose in life.
I still am very much A Work in Progress as we all are, and I definitely still have a way to go before Anxiety is no longer a factor in my life, but I am finally moving forward and seeing some brighter days ahead. I intend to make it my mission to help as many people as possible also see the brighter days. I will spend the rest of my days leading with kindness first and always sharing a smile not a judgement, because everyone is going through something and I have learnt that a little bit of kindness can go a long way.
Start believing you can and you will. 💚❤️