Before I start, I just wanted to say that this blog post is a little outdated as I wrote it at the end of last year but didn’t post it as my mental health spiralled again.
I didn’t want to waste this post, it’s content is still very relevant. My next post will be a real time update.
Hello, and finally welcome back to my blog.
Gosh can you believe that I am actually posting again!? Honestly it feels so good to be back behind the keyboard writing again…it’s been way too long!
Firstly, I want to thank you all so much for sticking with me despite my complete silence, I really do appreciate it!
More importantly How are you doing?
What have you been up to? Let me know I’d love to hear from you.
Why the silence?
I thought it only right to start this blog off with where I’ve been and why I haven’t posted for so damn long!! I feel like it’s important to take accountability for my lack of posting and just be honest with you guys.
Unfortunately, I haven’t got any exciting stories to tell you, to put it quite simply I just felt lost, unmotivated and like I had reached a point in my life where I really didn’t know who I was, what I wanted or what my life’s purpose was… it all sounds very deep I know, I just couldn’t seem to find the right path.
The last few years have been very difficult and have had a huge impact on everyone!
Like most I wasn’t really sure how to deal with it once we went back into a second lock down, I honestly just felt panic and so much anxiety about what the world was going to look like if and when we finally emerged out the other side.
Before the pandemic hit, I was making great progress with my Mental Health and taking seemingly small but very important steps forward with conquering my Anxiety. I was definitely starting to believe that one day I would be living an anxiety free life, a belief that I never in a million years thought I’d have, so when the world came to a standstill, I started to question how I was going to continue making progress and feared that it would undo all my hard work. This was something I tried desperately not to think about but instead ended up consuming my thoughts entirely.
It was at that point I decided to take a step back, I couldn’t think of anything but the pandemic and my anxiety and the last thing I thought I needed or wanted to do was to write! Which in hindsight was probably a bad decision but at the time felt right.
Where I am now
I am going to write a separate more in-depth blog on this subject but just didn’t feel it would make sense to skip this part entirely.
So where am I now? Well actually I am doing really well, I have had a good amount of time to re-evaluate. After feeling I was not able to continue moving forward in my recovery with anxiety, I have really taken huge leaps forward and feel like I am in the best place I’ve been in a long time. Not only that but I really feel that I have started to find myself and the person that’s always been inside of me but had been masked all those years by anxiety! My journey with anxiety and other aspects of my mental health is definitely not over but it’s certainly moving in the right direction!
My final Thought
I Thought I didn’t need the pressure of writing blogs every week but in actual fact I’ve learnt that I most certainly do! I just needed to create a healthy routine and new mindset towards it, I love to write and talk about Mental Health, my journey. I needed to silence the constant noise of doubt in my mind that insisted on making me believe these negative thoughts…
“you’re not good enough”
“No one wants to read that”
“You’re a waste of time and what you’re doing is completely pointless”
None of that was true and I know that now, I am finally learning to stop living to please others and actually start living my life in a way that gives me a purpose and most importantly makes me happy.
We will never be our true and honest selves living the life that was meant for us if we allow it to be governed by the thoughts and opinions of others.
So, watch this space… The blogs have made a comeback and I couldn’t be happier!
Thank you again for sticking with me! The upload schedule for my Mental Health blog’s will be the exact same as it was before, which is as follows
Mental Health blog post – Tuesday @ 4pm UK time
The Friday blog – Friday @ 4pm UK time
Share a smiled not a judgement
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